Tuning in Tuesday

I love when i get given time off at work it feels like i can accomplishment anything in the extra 5.5 hours i have been gifted. However, equally i hate it because it means that i am quiet. It’s one of those things that when your constantly busy the opportunity to leave early never happens, so when it does pop up you greet it with open arms and just take it as you never know when your going to get it again.

So, where am i? I am sat in S’s bar having a coffee and using this free time to do some writing. He’s terribly hungover today, bless him. The temptation to pick him up post night out and bring him home so we could steal some extra time was oh so tempting, but as my tolerance for being sober around drunk people is very low, i had to decline the offer.

I’m at that point again, where I’m getting that fire in my belly and i want to do everything all at the same time! I have a list of things that i want to do and achieve, but just want them all to be done yesterday. I am irrevocably terrible at prioritising my tasks and what often happens is that nothing ends up happening at all. Then i get in a lull of “I’ve achieved nothing” when i only have myself to blame. (If you haven’t guessed already, I’m feeling pretty reflective today….so, let us continue).
At 33, you would think that i would of learned my lesson by now? Sadly, not.

So what am i likely to do with my free time today? Hit the gym for an extended workout; i’ve been brewing some ideas to conclude my Late night Gymer post so when i am not around close company i will let my thoughts pour out, start getting my bag organised to my extended weekend away and maybe a little baking if the inspiration hits me. So, totally skirting around anything really productive. Seriously, when will i learn?

This isn’t exactly my usual style of blog, but i have found myself in a space that I haven’t been in for a while. I am happy. I am dating someone whom i really like and whom likes me in return without knowing any of this side to me. So at what point do i share this side of myself? I’m not hiding it, but I’m not exactly leading with it.

The problem i was faced with A was i shared this side of myself (except this blog) early on and after that he defined me by it, therefore only offered me the hard stuff and completely skipped the tenderness that is needed at the beginning of a relationship. Figuring each other out and finding out what gets the other off and then pushing those buttons more to provoke a deeper and stronger reaction.
With S *sigh* it’s sweet, tender, loving and utterly wonderful. So why, am i still behaving that i need to keep his interest by being overly sexual?

I’ve actually had to sit and ponder that thought and even now I don’t have an answer….i might have to let that seed grow and maybe i will have an answer.

Anyway, enough reflecting for one day. Time to hit the gym.


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